The Rules & Why We (Still) Play

The Rules

Pretty much standard 5-a-side rules

  1. Outfield players are not allowed in the D, ‘keepers not allowed outside the D.   Is on the line in the D or out of it?  No idea, that’s variable, depending on what the score is.
  2. No over head high – whose head height?  No idea, that’s variable, depending on what the scores are, how angry Mick is or how much Mark is chuntering.
  3. No sliding tackles – unless it’s impressive.
  4. No tackles from behind…hah that’s a joke, it’s a man’s game after all.  The rule least observed, especially by the Whites
  5. No handball: whether it was intentional or not depends on the score.
  6. ‘Keepers to play the ball out on the ground – yeah right.
  7. If the ball comes off the ‘keeper and goes over head high it goes back to the ‘keeper.   Too many arguments otherwise.

And why do we still play?

Simply: the love of the game and because it gets us out of the house

And from this year…

the Dunn Jessop Macintyre Trophy, named in honour of our founding fathers

(also known as the Jessop Macintyre Dunn trophy or the also known as the Macintyre Dunn Jessop trophy)

A photo of this truly magnificent trophy (which stands at 14 feet tall and is made from gold, diamonds and other precious stones) is in the gallery. Unfortunately, a photo of it is all that exists because the money for the trophy was once given to Brian for him to purchase the said trophy and we haven’t seen him since.  We do get a Christmas card from him every year though and he does look well.

The trophy (or photo of it) is awarded to the winning team in each Blades 5 A Side World Series, and defined by the team that wins the best of 21 matches.   They and they alone have the right to be considered (usually only by themselves) the reigning World Champions.

As is with everything in this day and age, there has been a recent rebranding of the World Series, to become the Premier World Series Of Champions, with its new logo (two rutting Lamas), theme tune (Billy Don’t Be A Hero by Paper Lace), motto (May football be the winner but failing that the Darks), and its impressive ability to ignore anything of any importance that took place before its conception. The budget still won’t run to dancing girls and confetti canons, but we now all do that hopping on one leg thing as we go on the pitch.

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