Tuesday 17th January: Three Wise Men

And lo it came to pass in the days of third proconsulate of Julius Caesar Megson and the reign of King Wilson of Bramall, close to the ancient gate that stands still strong and worthy beside the brook, that all with email were called forth to hear the teachings of the three wise men: Jono the Limp, Jess the Now Less Limp and Brian the Late.   And when they spoke those present fell silent because as before they were often as sheep without a shepherd, now they were as roses in the rain.  It did not matter if you were weak, or disenchanted for they called to all: “Bring me your injured and your thirsty, bring me your young as long as they look old enough to be served, your wounded and your fouled especially those spectacularly, bring me your diseased and your lepers, sorry I meant Leeds fans”.

And there amongst the throng that gathered were many of the disciples including Tim, son of Zebedee for his legs were like springs and Geordie Simon Peter Dave, who they renamed The Mike Ashley Sports Direct Arena Dave, and Judas Mick, for he often swopped shirts and Big Philip John for he was from a different town and Andrew Martin for he was the first to arrive in that place.

All were soon aghast as miracles were performed as to turn a kitty into wine and all thought of weariness from the mammoth draw the previous night was as banished as Pharisees and moneylenders.   Later following our exile by the un-godly bell ringer we were led thence from that place of last orders into the winters night to pass amongst the forsaken and waiting taxis but we asked “to whence are you leading us, for we are scared in this storm”.    But the Three Wise Men said “be calm, do not doubt us, especially you Thomas, for we will bring you safely to another place.”   And as we were spoken unto, there in the distance appeared a bar shining bright: and all agreed it was a better place, one of extended hours with worthy men who understood our speaking in slurred tongues, Stella and JD and other such parables, and would respond with like.   There we sat longer in circles and listened to the wisdom that was shared: do not mix grape and grain; keep fit and the gates of Hillsborough will be open to you on a weekly basis for there you will find redemption; and blessed will be those who pay on time”.  Then, as true apostles we were dispatched to the four corners of that place, all the while remaining bound by the brethren of our faith and the need to be close to both the bar and the gents.

As the evening drew late, the disciples were sent forth, their faith restored that one day soon the three wise men would again walk amongst us.    (Well they certainly aren’t going to be doing much running on their first games back are they, talk about blowing out of their backsides).

It was an incredible game last week, and a fine night out on Friday.  Match Day 11 of The Second World Series ended in a draw of biblical proportions.   It is Whites 6 Darks 4 in games.

I wonder who will be playing this week?

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