Warm Pants From The Radiator

I’ve said my piece about last week but being the sporting gentleman that I often am I offer my congratulations to those pesky whites one final time but now it is a new Series, a new start, a new dawn, a new beginning, the first taco, a first egg out of the box, the first rainbow, the first openly gay premiership footballer, the first bald prime minister of the modern age, your first slinky, your first kiss, the first ice cream of the summer, the first chocolate mousse of the winter, the first snowball, the first time you wear your pants warm straight off the radiator, I’m sure you get the picture, and we are doing it the good old way…it’s not live on sky or any other digital format, we are going for it the way the good Lord intended, apart from the grass and the 11-a-side and the inclement weather conditions affecting the flight of the ball, and the crowd and the myriad of backroom staff and the inflated wages and ego pampering groupies, because none of us would want any of those things, now would we, especially not those final two things, I mean given the choice between the inflated wages and ego pampering groupies or warm pants straight from the radiator I know which I would always choose….

So I ask of you once again, knowing that Jono’s inclusion is subject to a continued appeal process against his two match ban for hiding beneath Angry Mick’s boisterously flamboyant quiff and Mark is long term injured, will you be snug as a rug or will you be chilly around the….

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