Down to the wire


One of your first observations as a budding ancient historian is that history is written by the victors, your sources are predominantly propaganda, the journalism of that day, which when placed in contrast with the now allows for a greater appreciation of the degree of freedom present day journalism enjoys; conspiracy theories and political bias aside.  Which brings me, tortuously I appreciate for some, to the subject of this week’s ramblings:

 Match reports. 

 I for one rarely read match reports.  They are in truth simply one person’s opinion, which if not written from your own perspective is often inaccurate and uninformative.  I give you as evidence last Thursday, withholding the necessary statistic for Hitchcock-esque suspense (which considering the title of the email itself is somewhat a redundant measure), all I can recall are those who played but that would be an immaterial regurgitation of simplistic facts and lazy journalism; that I hit the woodwork on far too many occasions…so what; that Woody and Fireman John had blinders…interesting, and Scouse Steve threw himself to the floor in a manner entirely appropriate to it being Oscar season and less reminiscent of Stevie G and more of Ali G.  The only other notable point is that once again the Whites resorted to their now familiar ruse of claiming to not be turning up and then turning up or turning up late as they started the game 2 men down.    Is this to try and trick their way to an extra man advantage or to induce some moral sapping reaction from the Darks? This time it appears to have back fired as it provoked a full FA investigation and subsequent disciplinary ruling: Jono will serve a one match ban for entering the field the play late and without the permission of the match officials and a second match ban for trying to do so whilst hiding under Angry Mick’s ever increasingly rampant quiff. 

 I personally believe this is a harsh decision considering his commitment to the cause following his mercy dash to his daughters breakdown (car, I hasten to add – although he didn’t fix it himself, although I am not one to talk as I know so little about the workings of the internal combustion engine and the modern motor car that I often don’t know which door I should be getting in).

Which brings me nicely (and eventually I hear you cry) to my point and that I trust this is a suitable match report containing match report style detail for my critics (yes you Ali G) but more importantly, Darks won (by a margin that is again simply immaterial in the grand scheme of things…in other words I don’t remember and if you want real facts you need to get Jono back) sending the World Series VI into a winner takes all play off final, with the scores at 10-10.

So in the words of the snowboarders at the winter Olympics (yes I can be topical as well as satirical and poetic), it’s time to run hard or run home!

And that’s what I need to know from you all: who, this Thursday for the World Series VI Final, will be hard or who will be home?

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