Referendum: 16th October 2012

A shock win for Whites last week I hear, a chuntering Mark at the end of the game I hear, a classic it was called I hear, well I’m secretly hoping (although it’s not so secret now I guess) that the Whites breaking their losing streak is a good omen for this Friday when the mighty Owls take on the  <insert own choice of adjective> Leeds live on Sky.  Incidentally what is the nickname of Leeds?  I honestly don’t know: I do know many of the terms used to refer to them, admittedly never complimentary, not least because we all know that whilst God is Yorkshireman and the glorious hills and vales of Yorkshire are his own country even he hates Leeds – and I have that on good authority by the way, from all the Bishops of Yorkshire and I believe Nick Clegg has committed it to being the single question in a national referendum sometime in 2013.  After all it is by far a more important question to answer (although we surely know the outcome with even greater certainty than a Zimbabwean election) than whether a piddling colony north of the great wall built by my favourite of all Roman emperors wants independence from the very nation that gives them the true context to their existence.    Perhaps it should be a two question referendum: do we all hate Leeds (choice of answers being ‘yes’ or ‘why on earth are you asking me this question, of course the answer is yes’, followed by the question: should we reinstate Hadrian’s Wall and proper border controls (the choice of answers being ‘yes’ or ‘yes and about time too’ or ‘yes and anyone coming south should be made to pay higher tax rates and do 50 hours of community service per week as penance’).   I was actually setting off to write about how last time the game was live on TV Leeds won 6-1 and it was the day of the infamous Gordon Watson dive (youtube it, it’s hilarious, it makes Suarez look believable) and how I have a foreboding that it would be a similar result this week but I got side tracked, and reading back what I have just written feel I should be apologising to Stevie B, and as for Leeds Rob and Angry Mick…some things can never be forgiven.

So to the referendum itself:

Question 1: Do we all hate Leeds?

Question 2: Should we reinstate Hadrian’s Wall and proper border controls?

Question 3: Are you playing this week?

Question 4: How many times do you think I am going to get clobbered by Leeds Rob and Angry Mick this week?

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