What next I hear you cry: live football on TV, F1 without interruptions, live talent shows, even live archaeology…well let me tell you…live footy rants…yes folks, nothing planned, nothing pre-considered just immediate typing…if there was a web cam I would be on it right now. The broadcast started at 12.35 and one minute later viewing figures are at an all time high or low depending on how you look at them…and why this experiment in reality ranting….1) I didn’t think about it until just now and 2) thinking on my feet, this should answer all those who think I don’t do anything other than send out footy emails I have spent all week writing and honing. And in good reality TV fashion it’s time for an almost immediate ad break followed by an immediate reiteration of what I have already told you, with a few clips from the show pre the ad break which in fact means that instead of finding 25 mins of programming in each half hour all I need to actually do is say one thing fresh every 22 minutes to maintain the viewing interests but clever editing and use of adverts keeps you on the edge of your seat and no wonder we are not progressing as a society and worried about the plummeting attention spans of everyone. So where was I? oh yes, what next I hear you cry: live football on TV, F1 without interruptions, live talent shows, even live archaeology…well let me tell you…live footy rants and as I type it is 12.41.
So this week…it’s got to the business end of the series: 10-9 to the Whites it is do or die for the darks, although I hasten to add that the ruling bodies are looking into a rather suspect transfer between teams last week, I think there may be some player registration issues that could throw the end of the series into immense uncertainty, potential point deductions, maybe even the nullifying of results, all to add a heavy layer of un-necessary tension to what could be the final game of the series.
Yes folks, 10-9…this is it (stop filling I hear you cry – I can’t it is live ranting, it’s how it’s done, don’t blame me, blame yourselves, yes look in that mirror everyone, if you have every watched X-Factor or Strictly or dancing on ice whilst being subjected to poisoning by a completely stranger in a house you are locked in for 24 hours you have added to this constant perpetuation of pointless filling with drivel and repetition and drivel and repetition and drivel and repetition, you are culperable, think on, what next one and all…before long this will be how Priministers Question Time will be…and then the fall of society as we know it…this is how the Roman Empire crashed and burnt, Napoleon, The Huns, The Ottomans, The Goths, even the British Empire so stop watching live reality game and talent shows, turn from them, seek out quality programming, drama, culture, save your society everyone!
So this week…who is playing…can I get a quick answer please because I think there might be a number issue. I know Mark, Martin and myself are all out this week so I need to arrange for the ball to be there. Come on everyone, the clock is ticking vote vote vote on Britain’s next pointless celebrity: 10-9 to the Whites everyone…this could be it!
12.50. Lunchtime is over back now to a repeat of the Good Life episode in which Barbara falls in the pig trough….classic.