Tuesday 13th March 2012: Oooooooh Matron

And so, after a week off, how are we all feeling?

Whilst you may all have welcomed the ‘international style break’, it did have one major disadvantage for me: I have nothing to write about this week, nothing to reference, nothing to use as that little hook of inspiration on which to bit down hard. Some may be shouting “hallelujah” at this point, “make it quick Cuddles”, but others, more kindly and honest others who appreciate art and culture, would miss my regular verbosity, especially the long term injured for whom I know my weekly communications are as necessary to their recovery as regular massages, pool work and a bacon sausage and egg sandwich every morning.

But luckily inspiration came large over the weekend nicely sandwiched between a oooh matron and a couple of rather large Bristol….ians. I appreciate that at our age we should be above the childish sniggering at the mere mention of a large one or at the thought of two jellies side by side wobbling on a plate but over the weekend I happened upon a tribute programme to the great Carry On series itself, and it got me thinking how did they get Barbara Windsor’s bra to fly off like that, there was after all no CGI in those days. And from there it is a quick and easy hop and skip to another….fanfare please….Blades 5 A Side poll (with a bit of luck this will be a little more successful than the Your Favourite Bond…bond-I beach my arse).

So which is your favourite Carry On film?

  • Is it the immortal Carry On Cleopatra with its ‘Infamy infamy, they’ve all got it in for me?’
  • Or the North Wales filmed Carry On Up The Khyber with the ‘May the great God Shivoo bring blessings on your house / And on yours / And may his radiance light up your darkness / And up yours’.
  • Or Carry On Abroad with its ‘The name’s Flange. Vic Flange. This is the wife. Don’t laugh.’
  • Or Carry On Doctor with the immortal Patient, ‘I dreamt about you last night, nurse” Nurse, “Did you?” Patient, “No… you wouldn’t let me!’
  • Or Carry On Screaming, all black and white and with its beautiful horrification
  • Or Carry On Don’t Lose Your Head, or the one with the highway man played by Sid James or the wild west one with Jim Dale as Marshall P Nut
  • Or one of the very earliest, if not the earliest, Carry On Sergeant staring Bob Monkhouse
  • Or are you predictably drawn to Carry On Camping for the obvious two reasons.
  • Or is it the very sad, not well known, late late misguided attempt at resurrection, Carry On Columbus, it might be your favourite because it was the last one.

We may shun them now and feign disgust but how can we not recognise their importance to our comedic education, to our culture, to that little child that still exists in us all that can’t help but find it funny when one of us blocks a shot with that certain part of our bodies. And on that note I close with a truly immortal line: Hansom cab driver says ‘Hampton Court?’ Sid James replies ‘No I always stand like this’.

Don’t forget to vote!

Who is playing this week? It remains Whites 9 Darks 8.

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