Tuesday 25th October 2011: Law 4

I’m sure I don’t need to quote chapter and verse of law 4, and it’s many sub sections of the rules of our beautiful game but i feel it is appropriate to remind all of those playing of the importance of wearing the proper kit, or as FIFA refer to it, the equipment of the game.  I am not suggesting that we should all wear shin pads or that slogans on t-shirts are not allowed, and if you really want to lift your shirt over your head after scoring then i for one would welcome such hilarity, but in Jono’s absence, and not wishing to sound power crazed in any way – somebody pass me that cat to stroke in the style of Blofeld (I would have said pussy but that might be taken the wrong way or get blocked by firewalls) – where was I oh yes, in Jono’s absence i feel it falls upon me to remind all players that jewellery and other non essential equipment that might be dangerous to your own well being and that of your fellow players are not allowed on the field of play, and that includes Scouse Steve’s talon like fingernails that ripped a chunk from my hand last week.  Granted i was trying to illegally haul him back as he sped (aka jogged – I know I had a stinker last week) past me to score and I probably deserved some punishment for a blatant South American style bending of the rules, but non the less, I thought he had a flick knife in his hand, this isn’t Brecht you know.   Pleas note i could have said this isn’t <insert random suburbs or Liverpool> but I didn’t – I would not be so insulting.

On closer examination the hospital staff were shocked: one doctor questioned if there was a raptor lose, such was the slashing nature of the wound – it needed stitches!   But the shocking truth was far more disturbing than that…. the wound had been caused by a false nail dum dum dumm the type usually worn by a drag artist dum dum dummmmmmmmmmmmmmm dum dum.  What we all get up to in our private life is our own business, I am as liberal and non judgemental as any Daily Mail reading raving Tory, it has been known for me to unbutton more than just my top button when out in public, if you are a closest Lilly Savage then I applaud you for your dress sense, but please please please do not come to footy inappropriately dressed.   Law 4 everybody, law 4.

And that also goes for that Manchester United shirt you wear Big John.

As for the football itself, with a new series came a shock but thoroughly deserved result: Whites 1 Darks 0.   (Although we did have an injury and absenteeism ravaged side, and were one man down  Some might say it was the Darks giving the Whites a bit of a lead – although i would not be so insulting…but It was).

So who is playing this week?

Paddy is unfortunately working – some might say he is getting out whilst the going is good and Whites are on top – although I would not be so insulting.

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